After nearly two decades of classical training and ensemble performance, Shaina Pan decided that the pursuit of becoming a symphony violinist was no longer worth the cost. There is something quietly radical about this decision, especially in a musical culture that tends to treat technical accomplishment as a lifetime contract: once you have learned the rules, you are apparently expected to spend the rest of your life demonstrating that you have learned them. Under the name sachi’s mirror, Pan has taken another route, combining her experience as a violinist with voice, electronics, field recordings and an increasing appetite for improvisation. "Talking in a Different Way", her debut full-length for Constellation Tatsu, is the result of that change in direction, a 35-minute collection of songs and vignettes that finds beauty in the imperfect, the uncertain and the things that emerge when nobody is obsessively checking whether everything is being done correctly.
The album began to take shape during a month-long residency in Vallejo, California, in spring 2025, and its ten pieces reflect a process in which composition and discovery are not mutually exclusive. Pan wrote, performed and recorded the material herself, with contributions from a small circle of musicians: Jas Stade on guitar, Rick Altieri on drums, Parker Richard on synthesizer, guitar and additional vocals, and David Alvarez on saxophone. Beau Sorenson mixed the album, with Sébastien Politi handling mastering. The result moves between experimental pop, ambient electronics, dream-pop and contemporary classical influences without treating any of these categories as a compulsory destination. Pan’s violin background remains audible in the attention given to string textures and tonal detail, but the music is no longer obliged to prove its credentials to an imaginary examination panel.
That freedom is particularly apparent in the relationship between Pan’s voice and the instrumental arrangements. Her singing occupies a curious position: intimate without becoming confessional in the conventional singer-songwriter sense, and often understated enough to blend into the surrounding textures rather than dominate them. The voice is not merely a delivery system for lyrics. It becomes another compositional element, capable of suggesting emotional proximity while leaving the actual feeling unresolved. This suits an album concerned with personal change and the question of how we relate to ourselves when the circumstances that once defined us begin to disappear. Pan approaches these subjects without the grand gestures that might turn uncertainty into a motivational poster. Change, after all, is rarely as tidy as the before-and-after photographs suggest.
“Promise” opens the album with a concise introduction to its peculiar balance of song and atmosphere. Rather than laying out a firm set of rules for what follows, it establishes a mood that feels both deliberate and slightly elusive. “Out Loud” brings the songwriting further into focus, giving the album a more immediate point of contact without abandoning its unusual textures. It is telling that the record can accommodate a recognisable pop sensibility while retaining the strangeness of its electronic and instrumental details. Pan does not seem interested in choosing between accessibility and experimentation, as though these were rival political parties whose supporters must never be seen sharing a table. She allows the two to coexist, and the music is more engaging for it.
“Nobody” and “Eyes” continue to explore the unstable boundary between song and sound study. Their titles evoke identity and perception, but the album avoids turning every track into a literal illustration of its name. Instead, the words acquire meaning through their relationship with the music, and the music remains sufficiently open to suggest more than one interpretation. Pan’s use of looping textures and sampled sounds contributes to this effect. Repetition can create familiarity, but it can also make a familiar thing seem strange by placing it in a new context. A small detail that might otherwise pass unnoticed becomes difficult to ignore once it returns, slightly altered, a few moments later. Memory behaves in much the same way, although it is generally less reliable about admitting when it has edited the evidence.
“Douse the Flame of Memory” makes that tension explicit. Its title suggests an attempt to extinguish the emotional force of recollection, but the very act of naming the flame gives it another moment of life. The music inhabits this contradiction rather than resolving it. There is a melancholy quality to Pan’s arrangements, yet it rarely becomes sentimental; the textures retain enough irregularity to resist the reassuring smoothness of nostalgia. This is not an album that mistakes the past for a more authentic version of the present. Instead, it considers how the past continues to shape the ways we hear and understand what is happening now, even when we would prefer to move on.
“Is That Really You?” extends the album’s interest in recognition and estrangement, with the addition of Alvarez’s saxophone contributing to the broader instrumental palette. The question could be directed towards another person, a remembered version of oneself, or the uneasy familiarity of a life that has changed without quite announcing the fact. Pan’s music is particularly effective when it allows these possibilities to remain open. She does not overburden the material with elaborate conceptual scaffolding; the emotional implications arise from the interplay between voice, timbre and the spaces surrounding them. The result feels personal without demanding that the listener treat every sound as a coded entry in the artist’s diary.
“Roulette” introduces a title associated with chance, risk and the uncomfortable realisation that not every outcome can be controlled. It is an apt idea for a musician moving away from a highly disciplined performance tradition towards a more intuitive practice. Improvisation here need not mean abandoning structure, just as structure need not mean eliminating surprise. Pan’s compositions retain a sense of arrangement and purpose, but their details seem to have been allowed room to develop beyond the strict requirements of technical polish. “Strange Pop” makes the album’s hybrid character especially clear: the language of pop remains available, but it is approached from an angle that prevents its conventions from becoming automatic. The strangeness is not an ornamental effect pasted onto an otherwise ordinary song. It is part of how the songs think.
The title track, “Talking in a Different Way”, gathers the album’s central concerns into a longer statement. Communication is not simply a matter of finding the correct words; it involves learning to listen differently, accepting that familiar forms of expression may no longer be adequate. This idea also describes Pan’s transition from classical performer to composer. Her earlier training has not become irrelevant, but its authority has changed. Technique is now one resource among several, rather than the ultimate judge of whether a musical gesture deserves to exist. There is a useful lesson here for anyone who has ever become so proficient at meeting expectations that the prospect of doing something else begins to feel like an administrative offence.
“Grasshopper” closes the record with a title that suggests small-scale movement and an alertness to the immediate environment. After the album’s more inward-looking moments, it offers a fitting conclusion without pretending that the preceding questions have been answered. Pan’s development is not presented as a triumphant escape from one musical identity into another. It is a continuing process of adjustment, involving the acceptance that a new direction may remain uncertain for some time. The brevity of the album helps: at around thirty-five minutes, its ideas are given space to register without being stretched into a grand statement about the human condition. Experimental musicians can sometimes make the mistake of assuming that a difficult idea automatically requires an enormous duration. Pan shows that a compact song can leave a substantial amount unresolved.
"Talking in a Different Way" also benefits from its place on Constellation Tatsu, a label whose catalogue has consistently made room for independent electronic music, ambient experiments and unusual approaches to pop. Pan’s record fits this environment while maintaining a distinct identity. Its appeal lies in the balance between delicacy and disruption, between the precision of a trained instrumentalist and the willingness to leave a sound imperfect. The music can be woozy, intimate and enigmatic, but it is not content to dissolve into pleasant background atmosphere. Its songs have shape, emotional direction and enough eccentric detail to reward repeated listening.
The most compelling aspect of the album is ultimately not its stylistic range but the attitude behind it. Pan has spent years learning how to make music within a demanding tradition, then begun to explore what happens when that knowledge is no longer used to police every decision. "Talking in a Different Way" does not celebrate amateurism or suggest that skill is an obstacle to creativity. It makes a subtler point: mastery becomes limiting when the desire to avoid mistakes is allowed to determine what can be attempted. Here, a rough edge can be expressive, a half-familiar sound can carry more emotional weight than a perfectly executed phrase, and a song can remain open without being unfinished. Pan’s debut full-length is a thoughtful, quietly adventurous work about the difficult business of becoming someone else without having to disown the person who came before. Its achievement is to make that process sound less like a dramatic reinvention than a series of small, necessary acts of attention.